Advice for coping with a relationship with an escort?

[Jakey]

I just want to delete this entire thread. Its no help at all really considering whay I was looking for ( a couple who could give some tips). And there is so much misunderstanding

[Jakey]

I just want to delete this entire thread. Its no help at all really considering whay I was looking for ( a couple who could give some tips). And there is so much misunderstanding

How do I delete a thread anyway.

[Jakey]

It does not seem you can cope, Jake.  That is the basics of it.  

How long can you handle the misery of a relationship with a WG?  Sounds pretty miserable for all concerned.

Amika, I feel you completely misunderstand the situation. Its not that I cant handle it, its that I feel it takes a lot of learning and experience to feel comfortable with it. Sure, im not comfortable with what she does. Im not pressuring her to leave, im not giving her ultimatums. I understand and accept that this is her work, and I respect that. But that doesnt change the fact that I feel uncomfortable with it. We have a very happy and healthy relationship for the most part, and I'm trying to gain better understanding and find ways to manage certain aspects of dealing with what she does, if thats unreasonable then damn me. Can I just say I find the replies to our thread on SAAFE absolutely deluded and biased and pretty despicable.

[Ana_X]

Having a meltdown here about about advice / comments / input given to you on a completely separate website while myself and others were totally unaware of that fact was pointless and only paints you as overly emotional and looking to lash out.

[Jakey]

You think Im having a meltdown??

The reason I want to delete this post is becuase its absolutely no help at all. Conclusions are being made based on a post and I just feel so unfairly judged. Id love to see a woman post about her difficulties with her boyfriend being an escort after he lied to her about what he did. I bet somehow the guy would be made out to be the wrong one and you would be all over the girl with support and empathy.

[kinkydirtybitch]

I know you did Jakey.

However, I did not. You are so incredibly upset you fail to see what everyone is telling you. I have given you the information YOU EMAILED ME for after hacking your partner's account in order to assist and throwing your toys out of the pram is not entirely conducive of being offered any further assistance.

Since you find people's views "downright despicable" then probably best to stop putting your hands into this particular fire, go away and get some professional help. You clearly are unreceptive of ours.

[Jakey]

I know you did Jakey.

However, I did not.  You are so incredibly upset you fail to see what everyone is telling you.  I have given you the information YOU EMAILED ME for after hacking your partner's account in order to assist and throwing your toys out of the pram is not entirely conducive of being offered any further assistance.

Since you find people's views "downright despicable" then probably best to stop putting your hands into this particular fire, go away and get some professional help.  You clearly are unreceptive of ours.

I'm actually not that upset. I'm more stressed at the way certain people are scrutinising me, especially on tbe Saafe forum that we posted on. You referred to the query on there as something along the lines of 'a biblical epic that you couldnt be bothered to read' and everyone else on there was talking about me like I'm just a pest 'oh just dump him!' Etc. So someone comes with a serious concern and it just gets disregarded like trash, the girls posting there represented some of the most deluded views of sex and relationships I have ever seen. 

Maybe if the people who are disregarding me had their partners go out and do this without them knowing then they would think differently.

I'm being made out to be a big bad man, who manipulatea and controls my girlfriend and spies on her to keep her grounded. That is an absolute load of nonsense. As I said I support her very much and what probably hasnt been mentioned is all the good things I've done for her. 

like how at first I was pretty comfortable with what she did, I used to actually help out with her job, helping her organise her work space, getting out of the house for her because hwr only option was to work from home, I even sacrificed my own feelings for her safety, in that at the beginning I would often stay home whilst she was working to make her feel safe and protect her if it was needed. in fact I pretty much saved her life, or at least from a brutal assault, after she was attacked after setting up a booking, by a would be rapist at the door in the first 2 weeks since I found out. If it wasnt for me being there and chasing him off and getting her to safety then I dont even want to think about the awful consequences.

this attack really damaged her/us and she took a couple of months off whilst debating whether to work again. when she went baxk to work earlier this year, Its made me feel a lot more fearful for her safety which is surely understandable, and maybe the way I am is a reaction to these bad experiences, in that among other incidences, I had seen the worsr parts of the job fairly early on and I guess that has given me concerns. I guess its easy to judge when you're sitting behind your screen but without meeting me, or  hearing everything I find it quite stressful to be judged by people in a way that is simply not true.

[Pixie]

Jake you seem to be getting upset with everyone here because of what an entirely other set of people said on an entirely different forum.

Overall the responses you have received on this forum have been helpful and sympathetic towards your position.

I understand the difficulty you have dealing with the safety issues, and if this even made your gf debate wether to keep on in this work then maybe it would be good for her to look into other options.

She could webcam part time and then keep seeing her current regular escorting clients. If she wanted to still advertise for new clients then she could introduce the booking request form with the confirming etc as a way to book. I find this weeds out the time wasters and the not so nice people.

As I said before though, it is her decision.

Chin up luv! Remember that the people that reply to you on forums online are people that you have and will never meet, they have no real impact on your life. Unless of course you allow them to.

[Ana_X]

You think Im having a meltdown??

The reason I want to delete this post is becuase its absolutely no help at all. Conclusions are being made based on a post and I just feel so unfairly judged. Id love to see a woman post about her difficulties with her boyfriend being an escort after he lied to her about what he did. I bet somehow the guy would be made out to be the wrong one and you would be all over the girl with support and empathy.

Going on what you've said and how you've conducted yourself here, yes.

If such a scenario occurred (highly unlikely as male escorts tend to be single men who end up catering exclusively to other men given that women, generally, do not seek to pay for sex) and the woman in the relationship sounded as miserable and strung out about everything as you do - I'd tell her to leave him and move on. Nothing more, nothing less. However you've stated you want to stay in the relationship so I haven't told you that.

As for how you feel about posts on another forum, I have no input at all on that. I'm neither a member nor lurker and not going to spend more of my free time on a subject which has already been given the best advice possible.

[Jakey]

You think Im having a meltdown??

The reason I want to delete this post is becuase its absolutely no help at all. Conclusions are being made based on a post and I just feel so unfairly judged. Id love to see a woman post about her difficulties with her boyfriend being an escort after he lied to her about what he did. I bet somehow the guy would be made out to be the wrong one and you would be all over the girl with support and empathy.

Going on what you've said and how you've conducted yourself here, yes.

If such a scenario occurred (highly unlikely as male escorts tend to be single men who end up catering exclusively to other men given that women, generally, do not seek to pay for sex) and the woman in the relationship sounded as miserable and strung out about everything as you do - I'd tell her to leave him and move on. Nothing more, nothing less. However you've stated you want to stay in the relationship so I haven't told you that.

As for how you feel about posts on another forum, I have no input at all on that. I'm neither a member nor lurker and not going to spend more of my free time on a subject which has already been given the best advice possible.

So then why do you keep wasting your time? You're choosing to reply to the thread. If you're not interested then I'm expecting not to see another post from you on this thread.

Thanks and bye