How to treat a woman

[Emily of Halifax]

HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN:
Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO TREAT A MAN:
Show up naked. Bring hot dogs & beer. Don't block the TV

[davidseven]

I thought was going to be Em's tips on keeping the opposite sex in tip top condition.
Forget the creosote, spray on the oil of olay and rub well in to give a natural protection against all weathers.

[Emily of Halifax]

You forgot the wd40 to oil the joints David

[abcdef]

can forget the flowers for me i hate the things

[Emily of Halifax]

I will have them instead

[abcdef]

can i also pinch the guys hots dogs he can have the beer

[davidseven]

You forgot the wd40 to oil the joints David

Thanks Em, I'll keep a can handy if the squeaking gets too loud.

ps. Its great for restoring the satin finish of stainless steel in your kitchen.
Top tip

[Hicky]

I can on rare occasions and for (increasingly short) periods be a charming old git when i put my mind to it and can cope with most of those but "Shop with her" is just not on. Men and women should never shop together if they wish to keep a modicum of respect for one another.

[abcdef]

aww hicky u should try shopping together lol

[Hicky]

No no no no! There is a line in the sand i will not cross!

Mind you having to follow my daughters around clothes shops when they were younger was worse. It's hard to lurk around the changing room entrance in Top Shop without looking like a total perv.