How not to book an escort

[monty69]

- Eh aye pet, I'm new to this. so not sure what you do. Do you do sex without a condom?
No way, always need condoms.
- Do you charge for this?
Yes, it's 110 for an hour.
- Oh that's a bit steep, it will cost me £30 in diesel to get to you.
Where are you?
- Haltwhistle (40miles from me). Do you do half an hour?
No, I'm sorry, I can't have people coming and going I need to be discreet in my home.
- You can say I'm the plumber or something. What if you come to me?
Come to Haltwhistle by cab for a half hour booking? No I'm sorry.

I think he must be one of our 'local' hill farmers.

The giveaway would have been the bleating of the sheep or the mooing of the cows in the background Ann