Found out my girlfriend is an escort...don't know what to do.

[Randomguy993]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 2 years...she's really cool and fun and is a solid 10/10, by far the most attractive and best girlfriend I've ever had. We are both students and so hav'nt had too much money, but have been getting by through my part time job and student loans. About 2 months ago, she started being busy most evenings and explained that she had found a new job at a bar, which I believed. However, I started getting suspicious when I would see money lying about her room in the hundreds, and her phone would be ringing constantly. It sent alarm bells ringing and I pulled her up about it. She instantly broke down, and told me she couldnt keep it from me anymore. A couple of months ago, she signed up with a high class escort agency because she couldnt stand struggling for cash anymore and was falling behind on the bills. She explained that she gets bookings to travel to meet guys, has a meal and a drink with them, then goes to their hotel room for sex. I was devestated and didnt talk to her for days. Its been a tough week, and my head has been all over the place. I really love this girl and I really value her in my life. But I just hate the thought of what she is doing. I'm not naturally jealous...but I really cant cope with knowing what she is doing, knowing that some rich guy is wining, dining and screwing my partner most nights. She told me it is just a job and that it is not really her but a character, like acting, and that she is incredibly careful and selective of who she sees... but I really cant buy it being just a job in the context of being in a serious relationship. Being a stripper or working at hooters is one thing and I would be fine with that to some extent, but this is way too much...guys parading around with my girlfriend in public and then having sex with her.

Idk, I just feel really devastated about losing this wonderful girl in my life and all the memories we have shared...but I just cannot agree with what she does and fail to see it as just a job. It hurts so much thinking about it.

What should I do? Should I give it a chance and see if I can hack it...if I really love her then should I see past it and know that I am the one she loves?

[Ana_X]

It is a job. If she wanted to hook up with random guys then 1) she probably wouldn't be with you, and 2) she sure as hell wouldn't be getting paid for it.


Accept it or move on.

[Randomguy993]

It is a job. If she wanted to hook up with random guys then 1) she probably wouldn't be with you, and 2) she sure as hell wouldn't be getting paid for it.


Accept it or move on.

But...she is hooking up with random guys. The prescence of money doesn't change the fact of what she is doing. I'm all for this line of work, it seems like a good income and has many benefits, and I think the stigma attached to it is incorrect. But when this crosses over with a serious LTR, I can't understand how anybody can make excuses for it. Some may say its not, but to me...she is cheating. Sure, she is not doing it for fun and is doing it for income, but really its still just as bad...she is sharing herself with tons of other men. 

Maybe you're right about moving on. Its hard, because I've really grown to love her and everything was perfect...but if our relationship means that little to her that she doesn't see a problem with cheating on me for money then I guess I'm wasting my time.

Thanks.

[Ana_X]

Sounds like you've already made your mind up. You can't accept her chosen way of making money, nothing she'll say will convince you otherwise. Time to put it behind you.

[Randomguy993]

Does it make me unreasonable though?

[Ana_X]

Excuse my pragmatic approach, but I'm not one for handing out pity parties. If you are looking specifically for empathy you'd be better placed asking for advice on a regular chat board rather than an adult industry board where this kind of subject crops up often and nobody with an ounce of respect for a person's body autonomy is going to put the woman in question down in any way for choosing to earn her income however she sees fit.

[Randomguy993]

Excuse my pragmatic approach, but I'm not one for handing out pity parties. If you are looking specifically for empathy you'd be better placed asking for advice on a regular chat board rather than an adult industry board where this kind of subject crops up often and nobody with an ounce of respect for a person's body autonomy is going to put the woman in question down in any way for choosing to earn her income however she sees fit.

Errr....at what point did I say I was looking for empathy? 

That is a very delusional way of seeing things btw. You really think that I'm an unreasonable person because I have a problem with my girlfriend going out every night and being wined, dined and screwed by other men? Of course I have a problem with that. She is the one who is being disrespectful and disloyal. 

You are deluded.

[Ana_X]

You're getting emotional that I haven't given you the response you wanted, as I said, this place won't work out to be your echo chamber. Your girlfriend chose a job where she exchanges sex for money and you don't like that. Leave her. Move on. End of thread.

[Cece]

If you don't mind me asking, how did you know about this forum board? since you are not happy what she does, what the hell are you doing on here?

[Ana_X]

 what the hell are you doing on here?

I'm calling 'projecting his loathing for sexworkers on a fictional girlfriend and spouting about it here while looking for those same sexworkers to fawn over him and give him the attention he craves'.

Just a hunch.