wierdest request???

[Laudanum]

The list is endless. Said list comprises of but not limited to:

Sit on a fella's face, fart, burst balloons and smoke continuously for two hours. (declined.)
Stamp all over the cock and balls of a gentleman, until they were a bloody mess. (declined.)
Sit a bloke on my knee, and pretend he a huge red foam ball, and bounce him like one. (declined on the basis that I might break all my vital organs laughing.)
Forcefeed someone my cut toenails. (done.)
Wear long opera gloves, dark red lips, smoke and flex my muscles --and pretend to be Dame Helen Mirren. (Declined on the basis that I don't smoke, and I'm not Helen Mirren.)
Collect used condoms from massage parlours, and sell them to a man for £100 a batch. (Declined. For SO many reasons.)

I could list more, but I've got washing to do.