Green light?

[Hermes1]

Hi everyone, my Mrs said a while ago that paying for sex with an escort wasn't the same as having a affair as she saw it as a business transaction. Do you think she was giving me the "green light" to do this ?
Just wondering what people think.
Oh btw I work nights if you're wondering why I'm posting at this hour!

[Pixie]

I wouldn't take that as a green light if I were you.

You want to find a way of starting a conversation on the subject, and then dropping in the question "would you be OK with me seeing an escort then?" in a surprised manner to find out.

Xxx

[Hermes1]

I wouldn't take that as a green light if I were you.

You want to find a way of starting a conversation on the subject, and then dropping in the question "would you be OK with me seeing an escort then?" in a surprised manner to find out.

Xxx

Thanks for your insight but I don't think I'll ask her. I was thinking more along the lines of as long as I don't find out etc. That's why I was asking to get the female view on it.

[beauvoir]

If you don't ask her you'll never know.

It's a totally subjective opinion.

[xKatieBabyx]

It's not affair but it is cheating, whatever way you want to look at it.

[Strawberryblonde]

The views of another woman don't matter, it's her views which do. Different people, men and women have different thoughts and feelings, which may also change with context. There is a difference between opinions on friends, family, other people's partners doing something, and your own self.

For example if my partner had sexual contact with anyone else, without my knowledge or consent, then I'd have a big problem with that. I have clients who may or may not have partners who know/do not know. To me if they do not know then that is cheating, but it's not my concern or place to judge.

I would also never assume anything without clear clarification, ie direct answer to a direct question!

[Nova70]

Firstly Hermes is this a sexless marriage, have either of you had affairs before ?. If it is a sexless marriage then I say go for it, get yourself a cheap phone from Argos and keep it stashed. Unless you do have an open marriage and you've both played away before don't even think about raising the matter with her because the discussion alone could find you in the Divorce Courts.

Now if you are still having sex with your wife then it is cheating and remember your aware of the added risk to your sexual health she is not, there's also the financial question to consider, it's not a cheap hobby and your family should always come first, do you have enough disposable income and can you be sure your wife won't become aware that your regularly spending money on some mystery activity.

[Hermes1]

Thanks for your replies. It's not a sexless marriage I've just gone off her at the moment and now she want its. IMO she only does because I don't lol. Anyways I've only just discovered YOLO so I thought I'd have a dabble while I'm still relatively fit (47 btw).
I haven't had a blow job off her this century so I was thinking what would be the harm in that. I've enough spare cash so that's not a problem, guilt on the other hand! I'll keep thinking about it but if the opportunity arises it could be OWO & CIM all the way.

[Ana_X]

If my Mr went elsewhere for anything sexual without first having a serious heart to heart with me about his needs and what we could do together as a couple to fix things, if it were to be fixed at all; he'd be binned quicker than you could say Merry Christmas.

But if you must go dabble without talking to your wife first, do remember that what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

[annabelle]

Hi everyone, my Mrs said a while ago that paying for sex with an escort wasn't the same as having a affair as she saw it as a business transaction. Do you think she was giving me the "green light" to do this ?
Just wondering what people think.
Oh btw I work nights if you're wondering why I'm posting at this hour!

It sounds as if you were just having a conversation with your missus where 2 parties expressed their opinion and it does not sound as if she even thought of a 'green light'.

Indeed having an affair involves more 'effort' though.