Should You Stay With A Cheater? (for the guys)

[Heather_Edwards]

The bad news is your long-term girlfriend cheated on you.

The worse news is you don’t know whether to stay with her or not.

Yet no one can decide for you.

This is something you will have to come to terms with whether that ends in a breakup or on the rough road to patching up your damaged relationship.

Why Work It Out?

Hopefully, this is because you truly love her and can’t picture your life without her.
But maybe it is because you don’t want to be alone or to start over?
If it is, stop reading right now, pick up the phone, and break the bad news to her.
This is not a good reason to carry on any relationship, let alone one which is on the rocks.

Will She Do It Again?

This question will be the most important one to figure out.
She has broken your trust, but is there any hope of repairing that trust?
If you can’t learn to trust her again and she isn’t trying to earn back that trust, this will be a lost cause.

Here are some ways to determine if this was a one-time mistake which she truly regrets, or the first of many more “I’m sorry’s” to come:

Did she admit to the affair or did you find out?
Was she apologetic or defiant and indifferent?
Has she taken any steps to regain your trust or to improve the relationship yet?
Will she see the other man again? If so, in what capacity?
Can you get over this?

You may have forgiven her for the affair and you may trust her to not stray again.
But if you can’t forget what happened, this relationship will not last.
Every time you have sex, you may wonder if he performed better, if she preferred his body to yours, or if she envisioned him instead of you.
Yet it may not be about her at all.
You might think, “Well, if she got to sleep with someone else, why shouldn’t I? Then we will be even.”
This tit-for-tat mentality may sound like a brilliant idea in your head; but trust me, the world is not always fair and neither are relationships. If you want it to last, sleeping with a stranger of your own is not the way to do it.

What Did You Do Wrong?

Politically correct answer: nothing.
She cheated, so she is the bad guy.
Truth-that-hurts answer: probably something.
What victims of cheating never like to admit is that they are occasionally at fault, at least partially.
While they may not have forced their lovers upon another, they may have contributed to the act.
Think about your own relationship: has your sex drive dwindled recently?
have you not been appreciative or attentive?
While this may have come as a blow, it certainly couldn’t hurt to think about what exactly led her to the arms of someone else.
This does not mean you are taking some of her blame.
It does mean, however, that there may be deeper relationship problems on which to focus.

LETS HEAR YOUR VIEW, OR WHAT DID YOU DO??

[Freddo]

Unless it was okay for both partners to play away from home
He or she has betrayed your trust you may think you can carry on but you cannot as it will always crop up in a rows years down the line
You could always even it up it might make you personally feel better
Not sure where you can be forced to cheat unless you were drugged
Of course it is easy to blame the innocent party as it makes the cheaters guilt less of a burden.

I do not really think a cheater is ever fully trusted before I have meet a few people of both sexes that have cheated some have got out of the relationship and a few men and ladies are now stiffled due to having very little freedom as the fact they cheated still plays at the back of there partners mind.

My own personnal opinion is a cheater will never ever be fully forgiven regardless how much you love them in times of sadness or upset it will come back to your mind you may not say amything but it will sneak in when you least expect it to. You may have a little cry or whimper to yourself and pretend all is okay

[Heather_Edwards]

I would be hurt, but Im open minded, so if the chick is fit, then I wanna join in

[Tom30]

I couldnt give a shit if she cheated. If she stopped showing signs that she doesnt love me anymore then thats it relationship finished.
But thats just me.