22-10-2011, 23:22
Yeah, just a poem I've written, sending it off for a comp (Very geekyy of me I know, esp for a 24yr old dude, but hey) and yeah, was just hoping to get a bit of feedback on it. Cheers guys.
In complete and total adoration,
my gift to you my heart was yours.
In two years you shaped it,
and in one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest,
now layed at your feet.
That first step you took was the worst,
since then you've walked a thousand,
no solace or short remark.
I still have these memories but we'll never see what we could've been,
remember when we spoke about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, that's all we can do.
We'll never make another memory,
we'll make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms,
the last time we were together,
so I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
you said they were, what happened?
You were a priority, was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone,
promises are just words unless they're fulfilled.
We knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry it wasn't enough.
So we'll go our own ways,
and hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you.
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity,
a broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
but I guess I've learnt from it.
Well aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way.
I'm still in love with the girl who helped me write it.
Anyways, there you go. Let me know what you think please.
Cheers guys
In complete and total adoration,
my gift to you my heart was yours.
In two years you shaped it,
and in one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest,
now layed at your feet.
That first step you took was the worst,
since then you've walked a thousand,
no solace or short remark.
I still have these memories but we'll never see what we could've been,
remember when we spoke about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, that's all we can do.
We'll never make another memory,
we'll make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms,
the last time we were together,
so I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
you said they were, what happened?
You were a priority, was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone,
promises are just words unless they're fulfilled.
We knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry it wasn't enough.
So we'll go our own ways,
and hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you.
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity,
a broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
but I guess I've learnt from it.
Well aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way.
I'm still in love with the girl who helped me write it.
Anyways, there you go. Let me know what you think please.
Cheers guys
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