10 things that turn me into Mr Floppy :o(

[simo22]

1/ The lady keeps looking at her clock and thinks i havent noticed
2/ I wonder if I'm starring in a live web stream as there's loads of computer kit in the bedroom and she keeps saying 'just move a bit to your left' 'mmm, just hold that position' etc
3/ Photos of kids, hubby etc on the wall.
4/ House. room, floor, bed is freezing.
5/ I can hear other people moving about in the house (kettle, phone, voices, noise)
6/ Lady lights up the scented candles, hayes air freshener.
7/ Too much chat about cost of living, weather, coronation street/eastenders.
8/ Over the top fake praise, 'youre very big', 'lovely action babe', 'god, that feels great hun'.
9/ Dont want to rush you sweetie but my mum/friend/childminder/ is coming round soon.
10/ Thanks hun, (as you hand over the fee) we are off on holiday on friday to mexico. when all i got was a week in rhyl in a caravan.