quick question

[hornygirl1991]

So you think that as cam girls, we can't have a normal relationship? And all our partners are going to want to be treated like clients by us, purely because of our jobs? My partner is open minded and doesn't mind my job, and I know he would never talk to any girl like that behind my back or cheat on me. Your argument is quite frankly stupid, and very naive.

[Simon]

It's a "male perspective", which was lacking.

Personally I have no experience of the camming scene, I book escorts. But I think most men would feel that it's hypocritical to get too upset if he's doing basically the same thing that you are (albeit without money changing hands). Be prepared for this reaction, and talk it through. Don't just attack him for it.

[hornygirl1991]

You are talking like the money side is irrelevant. This is our JOB. We don't do it for fun. This is how we make our money. He is messaging this lady purely because he wants to.

[Simon]

Of course, there's another possibility. Perhaps he's "letting you know what it feels like"?

[hornygirl1991]

Perhaps he has no respect for their relationship and thinks its okay to fuck around behind her back.

[Simon]

But IS he doing it behind her back? That's not clear from the OP.

All I'm saying is that you can't guarantee that "I'm only doing it because I'm desperate for the money, honest" will work as an argument. Speaking as a client of escorts rather than cammers, I frequently read about them "loving their work" (especially when confronting abolitionists who want to ban what they do), and I sincerely hope that this is the case.

Otherwise I can see where this is likely to go: "if you're not enjoying it then you should give it up and do something else".

I still think that there's a good chance that he doesn't feel that he is doing anything wrong, and a reasonable chance that he can be talked out of it if he's told (politely) that it's considered unacceptable. But the alternative is that either or both will decide that the relationship isn't going to work.

[Simon]

It would be interesting to see wife4rent's view on this. IIRC, she is a prostitute (she prefers that to "escort") wbo married a client... who still has sex with other prostitutes. He does it for fun, she's in it for the money (supposedly)...

[ladyjosephine]

well after some very long convos with my partner, he has assured me that it was just chatting,and he was trying to get others views on the kinky/ fetish side of life.my job has never bothered him, i guess thats why i have held him so special, because there are so many men out there that DONT want there gfr chatting of showing off the bodys to others.but it is just a job, nothing more nothing less.

[Diva Gina]

For me it's different, because I cam for fun AND for the money. My husband earns enough to support us, my cam earnings and hopefully future occasional escorting bookings pay for treats like manicures/massages/holidays. He is fine with me camming and probably fine with the escorting, as he knows he doesn't satisfy me and we are going back to swinging.
BUT it is all done openly/consensually and we both know where we stand and agree what is/is not allowed.
Communication is key in any relationship and my hubby has upset me in the past, by having relationships with other women - though there was no sex, it isn't the act of sex with another woman that bothers me, it is the thought of a more personal/emotional relationship with another woman that I object to.
LadyJosephine, I hope you sort this out and get your relationship back on track, but you do need to talk and make sure he truly understands your concerns/expectations. Whether we agree with it or not, or it upsets us, the point Simon made is valid, men think about things differently to us so I think your BF probably didn't realise that this would upset you as much as it has and was probably confused by your reaction. In fact not just men think differently, but different women think differently to each other.