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+--- Thread: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? (/showthread.php?tid=1692)
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These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - Lady_Lust_XXX - 16-11-2011
Guys, we/I am always going on re convos we have with guys on phone but have never really given any real explanation of convos. I saw the messagess below on a blog on AW - hope I dont get done with plageurism but it was easier to copy and paste :
Client: How much for 3 minutes of anal?
Me: Sorry?!
Client: How much would you charge for 3 minutes of anal?
Me: (pause in confusion) I wouldn't do that!
Client: Oh wow, you wouldn't charge?! So you'd do it for free?! Excellent!
Me: I meant I wouldn't do anal, it says that on my profile!
FOOL!
Client: Alright sexy, what you doing right now?
Me: (silence and face like -_-)
Client: Hello?
Me: Yes?
Client: What you doing?
Me: Right now, I'm talking to you
Client: Cool cool. What you wearing?
Me: *long sigh and disconnects call*
GEEZER!
Client: Hello darling, is this 'x'?
Me: Yes, that's me, what can I do for you?
Client: How much just to lick your feet/blowjob/handjob
Me: My rates are on my profile, you pay for my time. How you choose to use that time is up to you.
Client: But I cum really quick, come on darling, do me a good rate? Can't you set your price for that 1 thing?
Me: Mate, I think you're confusing me for a street prostitute. Why not ask your wife?
DELBOY!
**Client text: Hey babe, you working today? If so, text back
My text: I don't take bookings by text, you need to ring me to discuss
Client text: Can't chat right now. Text me your address
My text: If you're too stupid to follow instructions, I don't want to meet you
Client text: Lol, I'm not stupid, ain't got any free minutes, could you call me?
My text: You're a fucking tramp. If you can't afford to call me, you can't afford to see me! Now fuck off!
TRAMP!
Client: Hi darling, I got your number off AdultWork. Was wondering if you could tell me what services you provide and what your rates are
Me: (long pause) ... Well, all of the details are on the profile
Client: Yeah, I know, but I'm not near a computer, I took your number down earlier
Me: I'm sorry but I'm not going to waste my time explaining something you can find out yourself or is clearly written on my profile
Client: OK, what do you look like?
Me: Stop wasting my time asking these stupid questions, I'm not having this conversation with you. Get off my line!
TIME-WASTER!
Client: Hi, how much for half hour?
Me: £120
Client: Are you worth £120?
Me: (long pause)... Isn't that a redundant question? You're asking me if I'm worth the money I'm asking for?
THICKO!
Client: Hello 'x', I would like to book a meet with you tomorrow at 2 for 1 hour.
Me: That's fine, just give me a call around 1 to confirm that you're still coming?
Client: Great! I understand fron your profile, you speak in Portuguese. Could you do that during our meet?
Me: Not a problem
Client: Good. Also, could you wear a Biquini?
Me: Sure, I have a a few available.
Client: With earrings and bangles?
Me: No, jewellry gets in the way, sorry.
Client: Could you also wear a headscarf?
Me: Oh, you mean a? I guess so...
Client: And under your...., I want you to wear sexy stockings with heels
Me: Darling, you're asking for quite a lot, it would take me 20 minutes to get ready for you!
FUSSY BASTARD!
Client: Hi , I want to book you, you are very sexy
Me: Thank you! When did you want to meet?
Client: I'm driving from London and will be in Birmingham by 12. I really can't wait to fuck your pussy.
Me: Ok, we can talk about all of that during our session. Call me when you're local, ok?
Client: I can't wait to get my cock in your mouth!
Call disconnected. Client makes several attempts to call again for several hours. Eventually I answer.
Me: Are you going to speak to me properly now?
Client: I always speak to you properly!
Me: No, you were being very crude earlier. If you want to talk dirty, you can book a phonechat session, otherwise, behave yourself.
Client: OK, can you tell me where the best hotel is in Bham?
Me: I'm not 118, find out yourself
Client: Just give me the phone number of one you recommend? I'm not from Bham. Please?
Me: (I start giving a few names of hotels, then stop as I hear a lot of heavy breathing) Are you wanking?!
Client: Er, no. I'm listening to you, keep talking
Me: OMG, you're getting turned on listening to me giving you directions?!
SICK FUCKING BASTARD!
Sadly these convos are not a rare occurence but more like a daily one. And you wonder why we lose the will to live sometimes !
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - SherriffStiffy - 16-11-2011
If someone can get excited by you reading out a list of hotels, you must have one 'seriously sexy voice'!
But on a serious note, I am pleased to say, I am not guilty of any of these, for a change! And I echo PoshPrat, when I say I am embarrassed to be my gender sometimes!
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - Emily of Halifax - 16-11-2011
oh god how many of them have we all had over the years
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - SassyAnn - 16-11-2011
To plagiarise a well know advert "One shit is plenty".
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - Barbara_goldilocks - 21-03-2015
Client: can I fuck u ??
Me: excuse me ?
Is a lot of guys like this a lot of time wasters unpolite and rude guys..honestly Birmingham is full of this guys.
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - MissSophieGreen - 21-03-2015
God, I thought I got idiots on free view but this is a whole lot worse, what time wasters!
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - xKatieBabyx - 21-03-2015
Lmao giggling my head off at these esp the one wanking off to directions. They are freaks!!!
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - essirri3der - 07-04-2015
Thanks for sharing these funny chats! How could anyone get turned on just by listening couple of hotel names? I am really laughing out loud right now! I am proud to say I never even thought of asking a girl on the phone to call me back because I didn't had minutes! I'm off to www.bestpornsites.org, for some high quality porn – guys free!
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - Nova70 - 25-04-2015
Well I do sympathise but I think your being harsh in one case "Fussy bastard", if your rate is £120 just for half an hour I think your clients can expect to have a few requests granted. Why bother using the phone to take bookings at all though, I thought the whole point of AW was the fact that for both punter and wg the site offers more in the way of safety, security and certainty, my feedback your feedback gives both of us at least a little knowledge of each other prior to actually meeting, if I fell into one of the above categories there might be at least a hint of that.
RE: These Made Me Laugh - Do They Ring A Bell? - Strawberryblonde - 25-04-2015
(25-04-2015, 14:37)Nova70 Wrote: Well I do sympathise but I think your being harsh in one case "Fussy bastard", if your rate is £120 just for half an hour I think your clients can expect to have a few requests granted. Why bother using the phone to take bookings at all though, I thought the whole point of AW was the fact that for both punter and wg the site offers more in the way of safety, security and certainty, my feedback your feedback gives both of us at least a little knowledge of each other prior to actually meeting, if I fell into one of the above categories there might be at least a hint of that.
It isn't and it doesn't.
Many men do not want to use the AW system, they want to phone and book without using forms or even joining the site.
Others have plenty of positive feedback, but are difficult to deal with because that feedback is either ladies wanting to keep the peace, or only representative of the bookings he's actually either gone through with or submitted a form for. He could have sent 100 emails to other ladies, or messed any number around and only gone ahead with that one. There are also plenty of genuine clients who have zero feedback.
Using the AW system guarantees nothing, and I take every enquiry as presented.
I take bookings from a variety of places, via a variety of methods and I would say that I have had the same quantity of disappointment from AW emails, as I have outside the site.