13-01-2022, 00:56
Replying to myself, I know right, weird... Just wanted to leave an update from my perspective regarding how it’s going, especially for lurkers or maybe novices who are brand new to escorting services. Like an advice post as much as anything really.
I’m still thinking about it even now, but I’m gradually feeling more positive. I can’t change the past, but I can learn lessons from it.
I realise I don’t have the mentality for this sort of thing. This experience may live with me for some time to come, playing with my mental health. The fact that she would have been so scared and just went along with each customer and their wants, just purely out of fear, hurts me, but nowhere near as much as it must have hurt her. It is like a vicious circle, I feel guilty for using her, and then guilty for feeling guilty about it because I haven’t been through any of it, so I have no right... the mind is a nasty little creature sometimes.
I keep telling myself the most important thing is that she and her kids and/or pets are safe far away from the abuser now, and that the rest of it is just history now. Hopefully that will help me get through my troubles.
Until I can learn to leave it behind, it just feels like a chain around my neck, the pressure, the guilt, the shame of it. I now feel stuck with regard to dating and new relationships. As I say hopefully in the coming months I will learn to leave it behind in my past and move on.
Anyone reading this who is of a sensitive or considerate nature, and therefore thinking carefully before picking a person, be careful. If finding out you have booked and/or been with someone who was forced , or beaten or even trafficked into it, is enough to disturb you or even break you mentally don’t do it.
There are no guarantees you can be truly safe in selection. If you want to do this for fun, you need to be fairly hard nosed and unnerved by the potential of others’ suffering. There is always a risk you will stumble into it so make sure you have a strong constitution if you are going to book with someone.
I’m still thinking about it even now, but I’m gradually feeling more positive. I can’t change the past, but I can learn lessons from it.
I realise I don’t have the mentality for this sort of thing. This experience may live with me for some time to come, playing with my mental health. The fact that she would have been so scared and just went along with each customer and their wants, just purely out of fear, hurts me, but nowhere near as much as it must have hurt her. It is like a vicious circle, I feel guilty for using her, and then guilty for feeling guilty about it because I haven’t been through any of it, so I have no right... the mind is a nasty little creature sometimes.
I keep telling myself the most important thing is that she and her kids and/or pets are safe far away from the abuser now, and that the rest of it is just history now. Hopefully that will help me get through my troubles.
Until I can learn to leave it behind, it just feels like a chain around my neck, the pressure, the guilt, the shame of it. I now feel stuck with regard to dating and new relationships. As I say hopefully in the coming months I will learn to leave it behind in my past and move on.
Anyone reading this who is of a sensitive or considerate nature, and therefore thinking carefully before picking a person, be careful. If finding out you have booked and/or been with someone who was forced , or beaten or even trafficked into it, is enough to disturb you or even break you mentally don’t do it.
There are no guarantees you can be truly safe in selection. If you want to do this for fun, you need to be fairly hard nosed and unnerved by the potential of others’ suffering. There is always a risk you will stumble into it so make sure you have a strong constitution if you are going to book with someone.
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