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Guilt after finding a Service Provider was harassed/coerced
Oh Hi All, I know it’s very quiet here now, but just needed to find somewhere to post. As my name suggests I’m not a big confidence kind of person, and have only met 2 providers previously, I thought I was erring on the side of caution and picking carefully to avoid trafficking/force etc. One I almost met but after crossed wires several times decided against it, for fear of similar.

But, to my point, I have seen today in a news article someone I met with was being coerced and a court case took place over it. I feel an immense guilt over it, knowing what they were going though, when I thought I had been careful, the suffering caused by the situation which was presumably compounded by her customers.

Has anyone had similar experiences? I know it is best to keep away, and keep anonymity which is what I will do, but I wish there was a way to apologise. It’s thoroughly put me off ever seeking services again because I now understand it is impossibile to rule out any suffering.

P.S I won’t be linking the story because the person abused has suffered enough. 

Edit: just wanted to add, sentencing in this country is sickening too, perpetrator will be out in no time, and after so many cases close to home for me, it disturbs me knowing how dangerous they can, and judges thinking restraining orders work on those sorts of people.
Replying to myself, I know right, weird... Just wanted to leave an update from my perspective regarding how it’s going, especially for lurkers or maybe novices who are brand new to escorting services. Like an advice post as much as anything really.

I’m still thinking about it even now, but I’m gradually feeling more positive. I can’t change the past, but I can learn lessons from it.

I realise I don’t have the mentality for this sort of thing. This experience may live with me for some time to come, playing with my mental health. The fact that she would have been so scared and just went along with each customer and their wants, just purely out of fear, hurts me, but nowhere near as much as it must have hurt her. It is like a vicious circle, I feel guilty for using her, and then guilty for feeling guilty about it because I haven’t been through any of it, so I have no right... the mind is a nasty little creature sometimes.

I keep telling myself the most important thing is that she and her kids and/or pets are safe far away from the abuser now, and that the rest of it is just history now. Hopefully that will help me get through my troubles.

Until I can learn to leave it behind, it just feels like a chain around my neck, the pressure, the guilt, the shame of it. I now feel stuck with regard to dating and new relationships. As I say hopefully in the coming months I will learn to leave it behind in my past and move on.

Anyone reading this who is of a sensitive or considerate nature, and therefore thinking carefully before picking a person, be careful. If finding out you have booked and/or been with someone who was forced , or beaten or even trafficked into it, is enough to disturb you or even break you mentally don’t do it.

There are no guarantees you can be truly safe in selection. If you want to do this for fun, you need to be fairly hard nosed and unnerved by the potential of others’ suffering. There is always a risk you will stumble into it so make sure you have a strong constitution if you are going to book with someone.
[-] The following 1 user says Thank You to Shyguy1234 for this post:
  • country-gal1984
Why do you feel guilty if you aren't the perpetrator?

If you had witnessed any of it or were negligent in some way I could see it perhaps, however I'm thinking you just may have chosen your words in a way that doesn't quite express what you meant to say. Most of us have difficulty with that, at least at times. It's a big club. (we should get perks)

Clearly you are a sensitive person and this has struck a nerve. It may not be in your power to do anything about this situation directly but I would suggest you aren't completely helpless as you might think. You've made a great first step just by posting this.

Something else you might consider is when you encounter someone speaking about providers in a demeaning way or as if they are not worthy of the respect due anyone else you might point out that a person's work tells little about who they really are. One thing to consider is that even among people that have put in the effort to earn a degree often have jobs that have nothing to do with their their field of study.

Men tend to define ourselves and others by our jobs but it's not really a good way to understand the totality of things. It's really only useful when you need to know who you need in order to accomplish a particular task if you don't do or don't have a wish to do whatever it is yourself.

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