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Full Version: Bad customer or bad me?Did I do something wrong ??
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Hi there,

I have a question about something that happened to me today. First of all, here what happened (I make a list, because I am not so sure that my english is good enough to make it a clear story  Blush )

- A customer contact me, it is not the first time, he already texted me, but I was to expensive, he wanted for less, I said no.
- He wants 15min, that is fine for me, so I tell him what is possible during that time (I do not do full service in 15min).
- He wants more services, so I say that is possible from 30min.
- He calls me, kind of begs, says "I will not be a piss, I promise"... So I agree to meet him at 11 for 15minutes and even add an extra for him, because he sounds sweet and really wanted it.

From here, it goes all wrong... He really pressures me, by texting and calling to be ready before 11. It is on my schedule, I do not receive before 11am... I am not a morning person, and 11 is really the earliest I can do. So I tell him no, I can from 11... And of course he shows before 11 !! 
I was really pissed off I have to say, and not patient anymore. I was not ready, he kept texting me again and again, so it was awful to get ready, it took me forever because he called and texted, and I just wanted my coffee and shower...

I told him that I changed my mind and didn't want to meet him anymore. 

Maybe it was not very fair play of me,  he was already there, but with all of that, I was not ready, super stress, and I did not felt good about letting that man coming to my home. He begged few times, called few times, I just ignored. 

Then he started to insult me. Not just insult, I could feel that he really tried to make me feel super bad about myself. He tried to manipulate me to hurt me. And I have to say, it worked, I had an horrible day... and at last he tried to threat me, he said that he will put a bad report at me in whatever website that I do not know. 


At first I thought I was too sensitive (I am I have to admit  Blush ), then I showed the text messages to some friends, and they were truly shocked by so much meanness... At least I am not crazy, he was super mean and I think it was a good idea to cancel that appointment. I truly think that someone who tries to hurt so bad, can not be a safe meeting and he is totally going on ugly mugs.

I am not new in the business, I worked few years already, but I only worked in France before, and I find Scotland very different, codes are different, the way to be polite too.

So here is finally my question : do you think, that at any moment, I did something wrong ? Obviously I do not deserve to be treated so bad, even if I did something wrong... But I would like to know if I did make that happened to me or that guy is just a piece of shit ? So if I provoked that reaction, i never do it again ! 

Thanks a lot for reading me, I hope that was not to terrible  Heart

I wish you all a nice night.

Xxx

Juliette
(25-01-2017, 22:31)JulietteFeg Wrote: [ -> ]Hi there,

I have a question about something that happened to me today. First of all, here what happened (I make a list, because I am not so sure that my english is good enough to make it a clear story  Blush )

- A customer contact me, it is not the first time, he already texted me, but I was to expensive, he wanted for less, I said no.
- He wants 15min, that is fine for me, so I tell him what is possible during that time (I do not do full service in 15min).
- He wants more services, so I say that is possible from 30min.
- He calls me, kind of begs, says "I will not be a piss, I promise"... So I agree to meet him at 11 for 15minutes and even add an extra for him, because he sounds sweet and really wanted it.

From here, it goes all wrong... He really pressures me, by texting and calling to be ready before 11. It is on my schedule, I do not receive before 11am... I am not a morning person, and 11 is really the earliest I can do. So I tell him no, I can from 11... And of course he shows before 11 !! 
I was really pissed off I have to say, and not patient anymore. I was not ready, he kept texting me again and again, so it was awful to get ready, it took me forever because he called and texted, and I just wanted my coffee and shower...

I told him that I changed my mind and didn't want to meet him anymore. 

Maybe it was not very fair play of me,  he was already there, but with all of that, I was not ready, super stress, and I did not felt good about letting that man coming to my home. He begged few times, called few times, I just ignored. 

Then he started to insult me. Not just insult, I could feel that he really tried to make me feel super bad about myself. He tried to manipulate me to hurt me. And I have to say, it worked, I had an horrible day... and at last he tried to threat me, he said that he will put a bad report at me in whatever website that I do not know. 


At first I thought I was too sensitive (I am I have to admit  Blush ), then I showed the text messages to some friends, and they were truly shocked by so much meanness... At least I am not crazy, he was super mean and I think it was a good idea to cancel that appointment. I truly think that someone who tries to hurt so bad, can not be a safe meeting and he is totally going on ugly mugs.

I am not new in the business, I worked few years already, but I only worked in France before, and I find Scotland very different, codes are different, the way to be polite too.

So here is finally my question : do you think, that at any moment, I did something wrong ? Obviously I do not deserve to be treated so bad, even if I did something wrong... But I would like to know if I did make that happened to me or that guy is just a piece of shit ? So if I provoked that reaction, i never do it again ! 

Thanks a lot for reading me, I hope that was not to terrible  Heart

I wish you all a nice night.

Xxx

Juliette

Hi Juliette,

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this person today. You did everything right and this man is clearly a boundary pusher.

He first contacted you even though he was not prepared to pay your fee. That is boundary pushing, ill mannered and not acceptable.

He then shows no respect for your time schedule. That is also boundary pushing.

He asked for services outwith what had been agreed for a 15 minute booking. Again that is boundary pushing.

And then, when you re-asserted your boundaries, he insults and threatens you. That is totally unacceptable behaviour.

The vast majority of men are lovely. But, unfortunately a tiny minority are not. I wouldn't worry in the slightest about his threat to leave a review about you on a forum. I don't know how many men use these forums, but I'm confident that the type of client you wish to meet will not be influenced by his "report". And most of these threatening men never actually get round to posting their nonsense.

Escorting is a unique interaction where you set your parameters. You can choose the people you wish to see and the services you provide. Only ever do what makes you feel comfortable. It is perfectly ok to say NO to a client or prospective client. xxx
What a fucking knob.

You didn't do anything wrong. The biggest thing that stood out for me is his total lack of respect for the agreed time. Some men get it into their deluded pea brains that just because they pay us we MUST submit ourselves to their demands and requests. No, YOU'RE an independent business woman who chooses her own times, schedules, content and clients. And if anyone boundary pushes as Caroline says, well, that's what the block button is for.

Ignore him, don't bother with him again. He totally went against what was agreed and that is not okay. No money is worth making you question yourself.
(25-01-2017, 22:31)JulietteFeg Wrote: [ -> ]I told him that I changed my mind and didn't want to meet him anymore. 

Maybe it was not very fair play of me,  he was already there, but with all of that, I was not ready, super stress, and I did not felt good about letting that man coming to my home. He begged few times, called few times, I just ignored. 

Then he started to insult me. Not just insult, I could feel that he really tried to make me feel super bad about myself. He tried to manipulate me to hurt me. And I have to say, it worked, I had an horrible day... and at last he tried to threat me, he said that he will put a bad report at me in whatever website that I do not know.


Hi Juliette

As others have said, you did nothing wrong, he was the one being a knob, being pushy and not respecting your wishes.

If you had met with him he would have probably been a lot worse and could have got nasty if you would not have done what he wanted

Sarah x x x
You did everything right. At the end of the day this is YOUR business and YOU are the one in control. You state from the off how much you expect him to pay and what you will and won't do in the time he requires. You also state that you will NOT meet him before 11. He was repeatedly trying to take control of the situation and pushing the rules you have set.

Well done for saying you won't see him. I personally wouldn't see anybody who doesn't respect my terms. As for his negative feedback? Often it's a tantrum from a boy who can't get his own way. And an empty threat. I wouldn't worry too much. I'd say you had a lucky escape to he honest. His attitude certainly rings alarm bells. In fact, I'd go so far as to warn others about his behaviour. He's clearly a nutter who needs to be avoided.
Thanks a lot every one for your responses Smile
It feels great to read you about it.
No, you did nothing wrong.
But it was a mistake giving into him because he sounded 'really sweet', as he was obviously just doing that so you would give him more than he paid for.
As you learned, he was not sweet at all.
In the future, don't let anybody try to barter with you and maybe write on your profile that the 15 minute session is for what you provide only and not the 'full experience' 
xx Heart There are plenty more actual nice guys out there, who wouldn't barter with you in the first place because they know better. Anyone that tries to barter on prices set by me will just get a message saying I don't see barterers and that's it! 
He's been a timewaster, so do the comments thing in messages and report him to adultwork as a timewaster and explain what happened.
Also be aware, he may try to create another profile and message you. Someone did this to me. Check the AKA and then report them again to adultwork.
Hopefully you don't come across another unpleasant person like this!
Nothing worse than someone constantly calling or texting while you're trying to get ready. Especially when you're trying to enjoy first coffee of the day. Even when they haven't haggled. I just block hagglers after advising them that they can buy a cheap porn mag. X

This is the problem, you give on one thing, person takes another, and another and it has a big impact. I really dislike boundary pushing, and still experience it in one way or another. Luckily there are plenty of non-pushy clients who are just brilliant.
(25-01-2017, 22:31)JulietteFeg Wrote: [ -> ]Hi there,

I have a question about something that happened to me today. First of all, here what happened (I make a list, because I am not so sure that my english is good enough to make it a clear story  Blush )

- A customer contact me, it is not the first time, he already texted me, but I was to expensive, he wanted for less, I said no.
- He wants 15min, that is fine for me, so I tell him what is possible during that time (I do not do full service in 15min).
- He wants more services, so I say that is possible from 30min.
- He calls me, kind of begs, says "I will not be a piss, I promise"... So I agree to meet him at 11 for 15minutes and even add an extra for him, because he sounds sweet and really wanted it.

From here, it goes all wrong... He really pressures me, by texting and calling to be ready before 11. It is on my schedule, I do not receive before 11am... I am not a morning person, and 11 is really the earliest I can do. So I tell him no, I can from 11... And of course he shows before 11 !! 
I was really pissed off I have to say, and not patient anymore. I was not ready, he kept texting me again and again, so it was awful to get ready, it took me forever because he called and texted, and I just wanted my coffee and shower...

I told him that I changed my mind and didn't want to meet him anymore. 

Maybe it was not very fair play of me,  he was already there, but with all of that, I was not ready, super stress, and I did not felt good about letting that man coming to my home. He begged few times, called few times, I just ignored. 

Then he started to insult me. Not just insult, I could feel that he really tried to make me feel super bad about myself. He tried to manipulate me to hurt me. And I have to say, it worked, I had an horrible day... and at last he tried to threat me, he said that he will put a bad report at me in whatever website that I do not know. 


At first I thought I was too sensitive (I am I have to admit  Blush ), then I showed the text messages to some friends, and they were truly shocked by so much meanness... At least I am not crazy, he was super mean and I think it was a good idea to cancel that appointment. I truly think that someone who tries to hurt so bad, can not be a safe meeting and he is totally going on ugly mugs.

I am not new in the business, I worked few years already, but I only worked in France before, and I find Scotland very different, codes are different, the way to be polite too.

So here is finally my question : do you think, that at any moment, I did something wrong ? Obviously I do not deserve to be treated so bad, even if I did something wrong... But I would like to know if I did make that happened to me or that guy is just a piece of shit ? So if I provoked that reaction, i never do it again ! 

Thanks a lot for reading me, I hope that was not to terrible  Heart

I wish you all a nice night.

Xxx

Juliette
AS a client you havent done anyting wrong !  this kind of clients can cause you a problem did the best not to meet him